Should You Tell a Woman She is Beautiful Online?

tell a woman she is beautiful online
This is such a heated topic in the bar scene, and it’s even more controversial in online dating. It seems like a reasonable thing to do, right? If a woman is good looking, you should be able to tell her so. In fact, not being afraid of a woman’s beauty and being at peace with your own manly desires is rule number one in the guy’s flirting handbook.

Why then are so many experts claiming that you shouldn’t tell a woman how beautiful she is? Well, this is an obvious point. Some guys take “you are beautiful!” and hammer it into the ground, never contributing anything else to the conversation. Do you now see how annoying this can be to a woman who wants to talk about something else besides her body and your manly desires?

Beauty is in the Eye of the Hottie

There is another complex notion at work here. Some women want compliments, and some don’t. Of course, all women want to be appreciated for their physical and mental beauty. However, some women don’t want to hear compliments on their body or face if they are coming from total strangers. Some women might feel that a man has to earn the right to make such familiar and flattery observations.

On the other hand, some women enjoy hearing compliments from strangers and can’t get enough male praise. That said, just because a woman wants to hear occasional compliments doesn’t mean she wants to be worshiped 24-7! (Yeah, yeah, I know your ex is the exception)

Some women may also have an aversion to earthy comments, and prefer more poetic statements. It doesn’t take much imagination to say a woman has a nice pair of boobs or a butt that won’t quit. On the other hand, going all Don Juan on her and comparing her eyes to moonlight and her voice on Skype to angelic hymns is a little more respectable because of the imagination involved.

Beauty In the Eye of Context

You also have to consider beauty in context. A woman who posts an attractive picture on her profile has probably selected that picture because it’s a crowd-pleaser. Saying she’s pretty online is probably not going to score you any points, because plenty of guys have already pointed that out to her. On the other hand, if you were to speak of a woman’s beauty in the context of no makeup, or a bad hair day on webcam, then you would probably earn some points. She’s not as accustomed to hearing compliments when she’s on her day off!

Women who are chubby, who are over 40, who are mothers, or who have some other imperfection might also be sensitive to compliments, as they may get ignored by the mainstream of superficial guys. Usually, you can tell when a woman is self-conscious about her looks—and when she wants to hear (or read in this cases) kind things from men. Oddly enough, women with low-self esteem and with hot bods tend to ignore or under-appreciate compliments. They want mental stimulation, so bring out your shtick. (I said shtick! Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Find Something Else

The most successful guys don’t simply focus on a woman’s beauty. They make her beauty part of the overall “package” of a lovely being. They focus on her smarts, her poetry, her kindness, her decency, her sense of humor, her unbridled spirit, her quirkiness, and so on. So the best way to compliment a woman is to branch out from just her looks and find something else to admire. What attracts you to her besides her body and face? Is it her eyes? Is it her interest or hobby? Thinking about more stuff besides sex, ironically, will get you more sex. Funny how the world works, isn’t it?