Have you been burnt by online dating before? Maybe the problem is you have been going after “broads.”
That is, broad searches. The general dating population. It’s very difficult to find a perfect match when you set your sights on the wide open sea, where there are plenty of fish and not a lot of rules.Honestly, how can you be surprised at this turn of events? You probably date the old-fashioned way. You filter in anyone from age 18 to 65 who is online right now and who has a profile photo. That’s the best way to talk to someone, right? Yes, and if all you want is a fun conversation, you’re set for a great night.
However, finding a soul mate using a broad search is just asking for trouble. This all goes back to the notion that there is a “perfect lover” just waiting in the wings for you. No, there is no perfect lover. However, there is a flawed diamond out there who does like the same things you do, and who comes from a similar background. Isn’t a diamond worth searching for?
Decide on the Most Important Qualities
The best way to find a true soul mate online is search only for the most important qualities that you want in a mate. It may help to prioritize your interests and needs in a relationship. In examining your past relationships, you may discover that some qualities and traits are recurring. Perhaps you have strong convictions and interests that you follow in life. These interests may even define you and the type of relationship you want.
Are you searching for those qualities or interests when you date online? Too many people make the mistake of conversing with the people who are convenient—the ones who are always online. The ones who are the most entertaining to talk to and the most confident. Nobody seems to want to wait a few days for a more compatible prospect to open his or her email!
However, there is a much better chance of connecting emotionally and intellectually with someone who has a similar background or range of interests as you do. People who have mutual interests converse longer than people that have little in common. When a single meets another single with shared interests, he or she also meets a person with shared values. Shared values are what will keep a relationship healthy and strong.
So it’s not just that “interests” are getting people together. Interests actually come and go. What matters is that you are finding someone close to your own psyche; someone that likely shares the same values, life experiences and instinctual wants and needs. When you do meet someone who is truly compatible, everything is better. The sex is better. The marriage is stronger. The families mesh well together.
Finding a Soul Mate Online
When you don’t have any background or foundation in a new friendship, the primary interest is sexual. And let’s be honest…sex does not make for a great friendship. It’s a far better idea to search online—and to search for the interests that are closest to your heart.
Think beyond your quirks, kinks and affiliations. Think about the things that inspire you, that mean something special to you and that make you come alive. Search by the criteria that are most important to you. Some people search for religious similarities. Some people search for mates with similar work or educational backgrounds. Some users may be so intent on finding a soul mate that they actually search by keyword!
Hey, once you find a diamond you never regret the hard search!