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Relationship chemistry investigated
We have all experienced chemistry with someone else and in spite of this widespread experience, we are not sure about exactly what it is or how it happens. How does the chemistry of love works? Online dating sites try to determine it, because if this element is missing in a relationship, then it may easily fizzle or not happen at all!
Everyone knows it by its absence or presence but most have no idea where it comes from. Match.com even created a site called Chemistry.com which attempts to determine this element in a dating site. The site is based on Dr Helen Fisher’s research into why people are attracted to each other. The thing I notice about all the theories about chemistry between people is that what is often not recognized is that chemistry is a different sort of experience for different sorts of folks. It seems there is even a movie around called The Chemistry of Dating.
Physical chemistry: This is raw physical attraction where bodies speak to each other despite any lack of attraction on other levels. This is usually experienced as buzz in the body, mainly focused in the sexual organs & an erotic desire.
Mind chemistry: This is when our ideas & communication styles attract & connect us to each other. This is usually experienced as a high feeling & desire for more of this kind of mental stimulus.
Feeling chemistry: This is when our emotions attract & wash over each other. This is usually experienced as feelings of bliss & extreme intimacy before any words or physical activity together.
Inspiration chemistry: This is when our ideals & visions attract & meet another’s so that the imagination becomes extremely ignited. This is usually experienced as extreme passion & subtle connection to each other.
We all have differences and these differences also manifest in our experience of chemistry of love. Therefore it goes without saying that each of us would have different requirements to experience chemistry with another. Obviously the easiest matches are when like meets like i.e. physical chemistry person meets physical chemistry person. No difficulties just pure physical chemistry between each other.
Physical chemistry with mind chemistry have their challenges. They face difficulties and may find they are not turned on by each other.
Physical chemistry with feeling chemistry can be a wonderful match & can result in blissed out lust for each other.
Physical chemistry with inspiration chemistry has a bit of a gulf to cross with each other. Inspiration may find physical too gross and body centered whilst physical may find inspiration not present enough in their body and too ethereal.
Mind chemistry has good attraction with inspiration chemistry and can be truly uplifted easily by each other.
Mind chemistry has great difficulties however with feeling chemistry. Feeling may find mind too distant and unreachable emotionally and mind may find feeling incoherent or even stupid.
Feeling chemistry can find challenges with inspiration chemistry, finding them too out of touch with vulnerability and those associated feelings whilst inspiration may find that feeling not focused on dynamic expression
When we pay more attention to the magic we experience with others, we can identify the subtle differences. A quote from Robert Frost however says it all: We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows.